City Living

So most people come to the city to a part of something--something that is moving and shaking--a chance not to be alone but to find culture and community. Then the majority of people find out that they have never felt as alone as they have in the life of the city. Sure, there are plenty of distractions, galas, social events, art openings but real, deep, I-have-known-you-for-a-lifetime community, I don't think so. Being one of these urban flockers, I discovered how I can be a part of a group that doesn't involve me braving traffic, that accepts me as I am, that doesn't require me to ask questions, and is always available when I want a pick me up. That's right Season 1-10 of "Friends".
Now I know I am not the first person to find contentment with this group but I joined the circle a bit late and just recently have had the privilege of getting the back story. Watching Season 1 in a single sitting has projected me into a relationship with humanity that I have not experienced in a long time. Sad, but true. Judge if you will, the ridiulous autonomy of it all, the way the media is destroying true relationship, the sadness that a television character replaces flesh and blood but the reality is, in city living, there has been no one more loyal than Phoebe. And that Chandler guy, he is always making me laugh...at just the right moments. Man, and talk about tension, I had no idea Ross and Rachel went through so much to find one another. It makes me so much more elated for their love now...that's if they were real, of course.
You may be thinking this is primarily a substitute for the real thing but, I don't know. My flesh and blood, city living, friends are too busy being urban to just relax and eat out of my fridge like Joey. And I am too tired to find more people like me. So, Friends it is! When I make it to Season 10 I will let you know if I am still living in denial. Until then, I have to help, I mean watch, Monica find a job:)

Big-wide open

I settled down to sleep last night, cozy under my down comforter, my husband already in coma-state on my right when a deep, bellowing, yelp proceeded from the jaws of the mixed pit bull terrier next door. This sleep-snatching creature mine as well live in my bedroom as my master suite overlooks his kingdom.

I have had disruptive neighbors in the past, don't get me wrong, but I have never had one that didn't comprehend my high pitched screams of english verse, "Shut-Up!". Nor have a had one that leaped for joy everytime I pulled back my curtains. It is quite disturbing being watched so much by someone you have never formally met.

So I have decided. I am beginning a quest to discover a place in the city that resembles the big-wide open. Some place where noise is an afterthought not the primary distraction. A little oasis where I don't bounce in my living room when neighbors walk outside my door. A serene environment that doesn't involve the nightly ritual of a glass of wine, a fan on high blast, and ear plugs just to make it through 4 slightly-interrupted hours of sleep. Is it possible? I hear the cycnism in your thoughts. Stay tuned and we will find out.

Economy

I don't know about you but I am tired of hearing about our economy plummeting into the abyss. I thought I'd get away from it by switching from CNN to BBC and up pops "breaking news"...the American economy is basically in the crapper. What can I do about it? Besides, panicking for about 30 seconds before I realize that the grand total of my investment on the stock market is less than a monthly paycheck and I am too poor to have invested in a home to begin with...I don't know what I can possibly do. So, then I ask, why give me the information to begin with?

I have some better, less heart-attack worthy news, it rained this morning on my balcony.

The air smells like autumn, the sun is only slightly beating down, I have access to fair-trade coffee, and I only mildly want to murder the barking dogs next door. Seems like a positive day in the life of an average American. So I will most likely always live in an 800 sg. foot apartment for the rest of my life and I may not get to ever own a brand new car but c'mon if our economy falls we are still doing well compared to 98% of the world. The rich (meaning all of us on computers) could use a little shifting of the wealth--since we obviously can't or won't do it on our own.

I am off to stand in the rain.

Sabbath Keeping

I have gotten out of the habit of Sabbath keeping and I have noticed a difference. In choosing to set aside one day of the week where I intentionally worship God through ceasing I am reminded that I am not God--that the world will go on turning if I am not at the helm. This loss of rest all started with Seminary (go figure) and the got worse with bringing the internet into my home. If it is there, I hop on it. Instantly I am bombarded with political news, what's happening in hollywood, the top ten places to live in the US all on Yahoo. The stress rises, the need to do comes back, and my Sabbath rest, the ceasing, stops be ceased.

Then I ask the question Marva Dawn asks in her book Keeping the Sabbath Wholly, "Do I need to reach a certain level of accomplishment in order to feel sure that I am a worthwhile person?" I pause. The answer is yes. I have slipped back into the false mentality that my worth is found in what I do rather than who God says that I am, which is a child of His, called beloved. Work is important and it is holy but it needs to be done as a act of worship and part of that act is ceasing from it 24 hours a week. This Sabbath keeping is what has kept the Jewish people moving for thousands of years...I now must cease.

The World

So in the last month it feels like I have been all over the world (Denver, Portland, Boston, Iceland, Germany, Bel Air, Forest Falls and back again). Now I know this isn't the WHOLE world but it certainly is a lot of traveling especially for someone who HATES flying.
Here's what have I learned.
1. Denver is a desert (or at least feels like one in the summer) and only white people live there.
2. Portland is a greener Denver with really good French coffee.
3. Boston is cool in the city but could use a facelift by the airport.
4. Everyone in Iceland speaks English.
5. If you make a stopover in Iceland on the way to Europe you are never more than an hour away from land during the flight.
6. German people love using ski poles without snow.
7. There are a lot of Bon Jovi cover bands in Frankfurt.
8. Hefewiesen in Germany tastes NOTHING like it does in the states...it is amazing!
9. If you want to be accepted in Germany you have to own a BMW, Mercedes, or Audi even if you are poor.
10. I am happy (I can't believe I am saying this) to live in LA. Even with all the smog, traffic, lack of greenery, and shallowness...I can still get any ethnic food I want any time of the day served by people from the country of origin.

Worship in Spirit

In his musings with the Samaritan woman Jesus got into a fairly intense theological conversation about worship, the first discussion of that kind in the book of John. The woman claimed to understand worship, the heart and desire of God, but Jesus knew truly what the Father wanted. His claim was that true worshippers worship in spirit and in truth separate from place. The Greek word for spirit is "pnuema", not that exciting on its own but...when we recognize that this word translated in this passage as "spirit" can also we translated as breath, wind, or inner self/soul it changes the meaning of worship.

Breath, our worship should be alive! God breathed life into Adam. Without breath, a person is dead. Worship needs to reflect this life that flows within our being--the being God brought forth--the being that is a new creation.

Wind, our worship should transform! Wind is connected to power, it moves things from one place to another, both mightily and gently. In the same way, God moves in us and through us to bring about transformation--not just our wholeness but that of the world around us. If worship does not shift or change things then is it really true?

Inner self/soul, our worship should connect with God. God is spirit so if we worship in spirit we connect with God. Life to life. Soul to soul. What other creature has such possibility? We connect to God in worship because we are created in the image of God--the same substance--we meet with God in a way that no other part of creation can.

The possibilities of what this Samaritan woman heard are endless. Whatever it was it was enough to send her running back to her village to tell everyone she knew about this man, Jesus. She didn't run because she was told to, she ran because she had to...think about it.

Waiting

I hate waiting. My skin crawls. My stomach over produces acid and I pace around with a nervous tick. I am not talking about waiting just for the sake of waiting but, waiting when you are in a hurry or you need the information you are waiting for to make decisions about other things. Ugh. I feel as if people that wait well deserve recognition...like a crown in heaven or at least a homemade certificate designed on Publisher. Waiting does not mean you are a patient person--it usually means you don't have a choice or at least you have convinced yourself you don't. It's awful...enough for now my over-acidic stomach is beckoning for me to pace.

What is Worship?

It is easy to get sidetracked in thinking about worship...a word that doesn't seem to fit into my daily grind of a life. What does worship (this seemingly sacred word) have to do with grocery shopping, doing the laundry, even studying theological concepts?

In processing through this untouchable word, Worship, primarily seen as the adoration of a deity, I see so little of me and so much of something beyond me. Then it occurs to me, that is the point.

Worship is not about me.

It is a spiritualized term that begins and ends with God. He or She does something magnificent (idk. like leaving the throne of the Universe to take on human form, live a humble life, and die a suffering death for the sake of my sorry self) so that I am compelled to respond in adoration. It begins with this God and it it ends with this God. What I offer in between, a life of integrity, sacrifice, and service, is worship.

I hope that I am able to remember that the next time someone cuts me off in traffic.