"Don't you remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? Or the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered?" Matthew 16:9-10
Oh how quickly I forget the providence of God. I guess this isn't a new problem. The disciples of Jesus forgot too. They had just experienced two of the most profound miracles in the Bible, the feeding of a multitude with just a few items and one chapter later they were, once again, concerned that they wouldn't have any bread if Jesus forbade them to eat from the teachers of the law, the Pharisees and Sadducees. Oh, how quickly we forget God's providence.
I am in one of those periods in my life, a period of distrust, of forgetting. Getting laid off was the catalyst for my doubt. All of a sudden, I forgot about God's providence, which is strange considering the life I have led up to this point. I have been beyond cared for my entire life--not that it has always been easy--but I have made it. In fact, right after I got laid-off from the church I had a job. It is a different direction, which is what I need mind you, and it pays the bills and offers me a challenge--something I am always wanting. So, why doubt God's provision, even in the midst of being provided for? Control, I suppose. Victimization, it's easier to claim weakness. If I trust, what does that mean if God fails? But, of course, God doesn't fail, only we do.
I am in the midst of writing a book on failure as the Bible is full of thoughts on the subject. But, the thoughts are different then you might expect. You will have to wait for the finished version to find out how. In the mean time, I pray against my doubt and that God would increase my faith.
