Surprised by Hope

A couple years ago a friend of mine gave me the book Surprised By Hope written by N.T. Wright. It quickly went on my shelf, as picking up any theological book post-semimary has proved to be difficult for me. This past week though, reflecting on the word "hope" and feeling a lack of it in my own life right now, I was drawn to the dusty title. I am about halfway through at this point and have so far found the information contained within its pages quite refreshing and enlightening--particularly Wright's views on eschatology--a subject not well discussed within my classrooms at Fuller.

I have been officiating a number of funerals lately and have had a difficult time declaring with certainty much about the afterlife. Wright has enabled me to think more about the centrality of Jesus' resurrection, a possible in-between resting place, and the bodily resurrection that will take place for us where we will live right here on a new earth. Growing up Baptist with many Sunday sermons about the rapture and tribulation timeline combined with the Mark IV films and Left Behind series, I have had a distorted, fear-filled view of death and the afterlife for quite some time. The pre-occupation with death that I have recently encountered lately has left me in a spiraled state of depression and hopelessness. Picking up Wright's book has been step one in a much needed process to distill my unhealthy fear of God and give me an answer to, "What is the point of all this?"  

Although the average person might have a difficult time understanding Wright's language without having the background of a Seminary education particularly an understanding of Doestism, Platonic views, and Gnostism--I recommend seeking out your Pastor to do a book study on this book. It's information may help to dispell both the religious right and the liberal laissez-faire. Thank you N.T. Wright for tackling this difficult and controversial topic. 

Freedom

"It is for freedom that Christ has set you free." Galatians 5:1

I have been using this verse for more than a decade on the middle school trips I lead to the Korean War Memorial in Washington, D.C. This Scriptural wisdom fits nicely with a quote found on the memorial "Freedom is Not Free". What a concept, FREEDOM. We talk about this idea constantly. It is a buzzword for Americans and our ideals but, what exactly does it mean? How wide is our freedom? How individualistic? How far can I use my freedom?

Approaching the book of Galatians with my women's bible study, I have come to understand this ideal a little better. When Paul expresses that "for freedom Christ has set us free" he is not speaking out of the individual, capitalistic, democracy in which we live. Instead he is speaking out of a communal context. Freedom looks very different when played out within the context of community. Freedom in our culture is often defined as doing what you want, as you want, with whom you want, when you want, etc. This does not take into consideration someone else's livlihood. The freedom Paul talks about is in context with the question, "How do we live without the law to guide us?". He responds with we are free by the Holy Spirit to love one another. Freedom is connected to love of neighbor.

What a different understanding of this American ideal. We are free in our country to make and spend as much money as we choose but, does that freedom love our neighbor? We are free to have multiple sex partners but, does that freedom love our neighbor? We are free to trash our environment but, does that freedom love our neighbor?  We are free to eat and drink as much as we desire but, does that freedom love our neighbor? I would say these questions and many others are worth considering within the Christian community and must be considered, not just from a moral, individualistic platform but, with a broader, communal vision of the world. The contortion of biblical freedom, in the name of Christ, that our nation has birthed is appalling! Statistics show that as 5% of the world's population we use 25% of the world's energy. It is high time for a revised definition of freedom.    

Somewhere in the Middle

Girl Before a Mirror by Pablo Picasso

Who is this girl and what is she feeling? On the left, a symbol of vibrancy, fertility, firmness--a time of richness and color--more sun than moon on face. This girl on the left reaching out to the future self she sees in the mirror, a self that is distorted and fading, a self that feels irrelevant and diminished. In a world, where youth is god and wisdom is null and void, how do we, as women, unite these two selves? The past and the future, the was and will be, the external and the internal, the immortal and the mortal.

I spend so much time with older women, aged women, beautiful women who are marginalized and invisible. Perhaps this song by Dar Williams, "You're Aging Well" will minister to your soul.

Why is it that as we grow older and stronger

The road signs point us adrift and make us afraid

Saying, "You never can win," "Watch your back," "Where's your husband?"

Oh I don't like the signs that the sign makers made.

So I'm going to steal out with my paint and my brushes

I'll change the directions, I'll hit every street

It's the Tinseltown scandal, the Robin Hood vandal

She goes out and steals the King's English

And in the morning you wake up and the signs point to you

They say,

"I'm so glad that you finally made it here,"

"You thought nobody cared, but I did, I could tell,"

And "This is your year," and "It always starts here,"

And oh, "You're aging well."

Well I know a woman with a collections of sticks

She could fight back the hundreds of voices she heard

And she could poke at the greed, she could fend off her need

And with anger she found she could pound every word.

But one voice got through, caught her up by surprise

It said, "Don't hold us back we're the story you tell,"

And no sooner than spoken, a spell had been broken

And the voices before her were trumpets and tympani

Violins, basses and woodwinds and cellos, singing

"We're so glad that you finally made it here

You thought nobody cared, but we did, we could tell

And now you'll dance through your days while the orchestra plays

And oh, you're aging well."

Now when I was fifteen, oh I knew it was over

The road to enchantment was not mine to take

'Cause lower calf, upper arm should be half what they are

I was breaking the laws that the sign makers made

And all I could eat was the poisonous apple

And that's not at story I was meant to survive

I was all out of choices, but the woman of voices

She turned round the corner with music around her,

She gave me the language that keeps me alive, she said

"I'm so glad that you finally made it here

With the things you know now, that only time could tell

Looking back, seeing far, landing right where we are

And oh, you're aging, oh, and I am aging, oh, aren't we aging well?"

Soul in Leadership?

I have to admit I bought the book, Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Haley Barton, almost three years ago at a Pastor's Conference and have had a difficult time taking it off my shelf. I suppose the whole Willow Creek model has tainted my perspective on anyone that has come from that movement. I have also met Barton in the past at a small gathering of CCO staff and wasn't impressed. She fit exactly what I thought the mold might look like. Through stage right...judgment and projection.

I have been reading her book on my study leave, thinking I might gain some insight on how to supervise the program staff at my church better and lo and behold, the book actually has some depth. It is primarily about solitude. I suppose I didn't expect anyone from such a large, non-denominational church movement to know anything about the spiritual disciplines or to care, as a matter of fact. I suppose I see such movements as too flashy, too big, too production-oriented. Barton though hits it spot on (as far as I have gotten in the pages) talking about leading from within (to borrow a phrase from Parker Palmer) and particularly how our inner journey is the most important thing we should focus on in leading others. At the end of each chapter she has been quoting from "Guerrillas of Grace" and she also provides spiritual exercises to help one "be still". All of this is woven into the story of Moses and his calling. I particularly have enjoyed the section that talks about vocation which mirrors The Path by Laurie Beth Jones.

Yet, how one should embody such "soul" in daily life is still to be determined. It seems that no matter how much I put my shoulder to the wind and walk with determination, wildly chanting, "I will not become stressed, I will remain deep", the wind, or rather the hurricane, always wins. Somehow the torrent of "normal life" has a way of overpowering. Even when I feel centered on a conscious level, I know I am sub-consciously fighting as I lie awake in bed staring at the ceiling beckoning sleep to come. Perhaps, therein lies the problem, the "I's" in the above paragraph versus the depth of God's call upon our lives. The size of the torrential rain is not the indicator of storm damage on our selves but, whether one has a child's umbrella for protection or is watching the rain through the window of a temperature-controlled charter bus. When God calls, being equipped is God's problem not ours. What we have to allow is a space for solitude--deep breaths, pauses, shut-down buttons. These moments are the moments of equipping--the strengthening of our souls.       

God in the Old and the New

Just the other day I had a brief conversation with a friend about the seemingly irreconcilable contradiction of the God of the Old Testament and the God of the New. As my friend spoke so eloquently about those "poor Jewish people", she made a comment, "it seems like the rules have changed". In the Old Testament God desires that they be exclusive and rule-bound and then Jesus comes on the scene and starts holding people accountable for this taught exclusivity and loyalty to the law. I would suspect, if many were honest, we have wondered the same thing. So, here's my take on it.

When you are a child you see your parents rather one-dimensionally. They are the forces in your life that set boundaries by giving you both permission and roadblocks. You love them dearly but, you also only know one aspect of the them--who they are as your parents. Their primary responsibility in your childhood is to make sure you grow up well. They protect you, guide you, and teach you which, at times feels unfair and rather constrictive. But, when you get older your view of your parents shifts a bit. They don't have to be your guide anymore, instead they can become your friend and, as a result, you see a different side of them. That doesn't mean the side of them that corrects and sets boundaries ceases to exist, its function is simply no longer necessary.

The same is true of God. God doesn't change but, we do. If we can for a moment get out of our individual view of the world and see ourselves as part of a larger humanity, that is the "we" of which I speak. I really appreciate this same perspective, with different illustrations, being offered by Brian McClaren in "A New Kind of Christianity". The recognition that theology evolves throughout the Scriptures is a hard one for many to grasp but, it is undeniably true. We change, we grow, and so have people throughout time--the very people that wrote the Scriptures. Something to chew on.